Digital Witnesses

So…listen to this song by St. Vincent:

This song makes a VERY strong point about today’s society. “Digital witnesses. What’s the point of even sleeping if I can’t show it, if you can’t see me? Watch me jump right off the London Bridge.” Well…doesn’t that say something about our social media use?

I think it hits something spot on. Social media makes life almost pointless. We spend hours scrolling through pictures of “happy people” who, in reality, spent more time trying to get that picture than actually doing what they claim to be doing.

It creates a monster in us that whispers, “Why do it if no one can see you?”

Why go to the Grand Canyon if I can’t show the world I did? Why go to that dance? Why bother sleeping without that last good night snap so they can see how cute my pajamas are?

See what she is saying? Or at least…what I took from it. Wow.

What are all your thoughts?

Advertisements

Certain things

Certain things make me nostalgic without ever having known me before.

I know I’ve written about how nostalgia affects me already, but this new-ish experience kinda freaks me out.

In a summation, I’ve had “nostalgia attacks” where I am thrown into my past moments by a familiar scent, sight, or thought. These have started to make sense to me. I feel things very heavily and I yearn for the past. So naturally, when something reminds me of another moment I’ve already experienced and that I miss, my mind is violently transported from the present moment to one of my past. Almost to the point that I lose touch with where I currently am…my thoughts become a physical presence.

However, now I struggle with these “nostalgia attacks” that seemingly sprout from no where. I am drawn to another thought of another time or moment that I haven’t actually had.

For example, the other day I was on the Metro and I caught a whiff of some guy who walked by. My mind did its strange little thing…and my thoughts ran wild…but not in some expectant way. It was more like…I had an intimate remembrance of the scent. I remembered it from somewhere…but I am almost certain I’ve never smelled it before in my life.

Now…this could be labeled as deja vu, but it was more personal than that, I think. It was activating an actual memory that my brain thought I had, but there was no actual memory there.

Has anyone else experienced this? What do you think it means? Does it reflect some idea that we are connected with other’s in their memories? Could it be evidence of our “other life”? I’ve never really believed in those things…but what else could this mean? Any thoughts?

How I Afford to Travel… And You May Not Like What I’m Going To Say

Now THIS is awesome!

Kate from the States

The honest truth – I never have the money I need to travel, but I buy the ticket anyway. I’ve realized that money comes and goes, but the more I make, the harder it is to part with it and weirdly, the less I have, the easier it becomes to budget.

I don’t do that saving account, checking account, travel account thing either. I am not rational. I am extreme. I want to travel and so I do. There is no in between. While I was working my first career job in public relations, I realized early on that it was going to take me forever to save all the money I would need to see the world. I come from a middle class family, I’m the middle child of five and I live in one of the most expensive places in America – Long Island, New York. I don’t…

View original post 1,731 more words

Tell me something about you…

So…I was intrigued the other day by another writer’s blog post compiled only of one sentence that turned the writing table on me. I’m interested in doing the same. I want to hear about you guys! Tell me something  random about you…or answer this: What is the driving force in your life and why?

Love you guys! I’m really interested in reading what you have to say!

In Defense Of All Labeled Introverts Everywhere

There couldn’t be a more accurate description of my life. Awesome writing style too…<3

Thought Catalog

Amazon / TwilightAmazon / Twilight

I’m sitting in a moderately noisy bar with a group of friends, and there is just enough conversation going around the table. The topic of discussion is not one that interests me particularly so much that I’m willing to chip in, but as is often the case, I am content with listening. Before I’ve ordered my next drink, the conversation has fizzled out and pretty much everyone to my left and my right has turned to the person to their left or their right making small talk.

I’m hoping that no one turns to me because I know that the exercise is one that will push me over the edge of mental exhaustion. I’d much rather be in this private space I’ve managed to create; where I’m only a listener and an observer without the pressing need to participate. As the others around me continue to share…

View original post 752 more words

Hilda Spiel Helped Me To Understand…

“At this moment it becomes clear to me that from now on all my journeys will be shadowed by memories. Inevitably, I will transfigure my childhood- perhaps the only productive obsession of our time. Recently I read a book about James Joyce that writing was today “not an act of creation, but of evocation, saturated with reminiscences.” But I have not come in order to grieve for my early life. I am returning to my origin, alienated by long absence, steeled by many a loss and ready for a hard, presumably painful experience. Sometimes in dreams we unexpectedly stand face to face with ourselves. Something of the shock of such confrontations lies in the encounter with our past.” (Spiel, Return to Vienna 10).

This passage almost exactly explains what I feel every time I visit the Chestnut Hill Park back home. This park has basically watched me grow, as much as a habitat can. It became more than a place to me, though; it became an actual representation of my rights of passage.

Last I went to the park, spring break to be exact, I had an over-sweeping sense of nostalgia hit me. Spiel nails this feeling with her quote, “all my journeys will be shadowed by memories.” As we began to walk, I could not help but become almost inebriated by my own thoughtful images of the past.

The empty volleyball court became a stage; my mind’s thespians acted only for me, putting on the play called, “Dad and Steph’s First Volleyball Practice.” We then walked by a swing set inhabited by a mother pushing her child. However, my mind could only envision Matthew, age 3, with me behind him teaching him to pump his legs to make the swing fly.  I saw my best friend’s pavilion graduation party in place of the empty picnic tables. I saw the wooded area my friends and I once suffered poison ivy from, I recognized the cobblestone path that lead me to my first kiss, and it was all the same. Not a thing had changed in physicality, but time had made every moment into a memory. I can’t help but become bombarded by those memories when I go back to this place where nearly everything happened. Enjoying the park for itself is no longer an option because I get lost in my own reminiscent thought.

“Sometimes to stay alive, you gotta kill your mind.”

This quote sung by Twenty-One Pilots has been on my mind a lot recently. I want to know exactly what they mean by it.

First, I must request you listen to the song:

After you do that, please tell me what is meant by the quote!

I was thinking that it might refer to the idea that thoughts are dangerous. Sometimes, when thoughts get to a certain scary point, maybe the best way to deal with them is to completely reject their existence. Is this really a healthy way for people to deal with a negative mindset?

I suppose it is better to survive than to let your thoughts take you over to a place of desiring death….but is that really okay? To ignore what your mind is bringing to you? What do you all think?

Fluff

Sometimes I

like to wonder

about the things

that fly around

my head.

They exist to flitter

and flutter

and to float around our

headspace…until

we have the gumption,

clear-sightedness,

and wisdom

to capture them in thought.

Nostalgia

Have you ever felt nostalgia hanging in the air so thick…it covers your mind with a fog? Has a scent…a piece of music…a good book…ever thrown you so quickly and violently into the past you feel as though the present never existed?

I have these moments a lot. I’ll be schlepping about…and then one of my senses will be ignited by a familiar touch, tone, sight, or smell. I become paralyzed in the moment…and I am transported to another time.

This just happened to me. “I Gave You All” by Mumford and Sons came up on my Playlist. My mind jumped directly to a moment I swore never to forget from a few years ago. Even though my body existed in the present time in my bed here at school, my mind and soul seemed in a different place entirely.

I felt as though I had actually flown back to a memory from home…to that beautiful night sitting on the porch, listening to Mumf and watching the sun go down. As I closed my eyes to better picture the moment, I could even smell the faint aroma of rain still lingering from the night before.

I couldn’t really tell you why this night was significant. Maybe its serenity struck my soul as an ideal. Maybe it’s all I ever wanted. I could have stopped there, and I would have been happy. Either way…a simple song brought me back there.

I wonder about nostalgia a lot…and I thank God for our amazing human ability to appreciate moments enough to store them as our own little keepsakes.