“I’m sorry, honey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry.”
That’s often all I hear coming from you on these Thursdays. You don’t have to be a servant to her anger. I’m telling you. You know…we are at work…you shouldn’t be on the phone anyway. Why doesn’t she get that?
Your species is familiar to me…that kind of overwhelmingly beautiful (and yet hard to reach) soul hopped up on some sort of depressant or stimulant (would you believe that both seem to be used as a cure for the same problem?) I’m sorry ADHD is something so difficult for you. I can see the blurry film it puts over that innermost part of you that pushes your head from side to side rather than allowing it to sit peacefully still. I can only see it because I remember it from my own childhood…my brother ended up being an extremely valuable empathy lesson. I know how easily he was taken advantage of. I saw it.
Every day you miss out on the million miracles that wave a friendly hello at your your windsweeping eyes because she is so far away, and she makes you feel like she is the only thing that understands you no matter the distance. Well…she isn’t…in fact…I don’t think she understands you at all if you don’t mind my saying so. She seems stuck in the world of the squirmy eye-browed norm. I know that is the only face you are used to when you get into your passionate obsessive speeches. I see the passion in them. I would love to hear them from you all day long.
Does she? Do you really have to sit there and take her yelling about not hearing from you for 10 minutes, or for the time she wasn’t expecting that surprise, or even just for talking with me? You’d be amazed at how loud your phone is when she calls (or is that just how angry she is?)
No matter. I just want you to feel how important you are. Feel it in your fast-paced, ever changing heart. Calm your mind and try not to see those stares or giggles as you pass. I want you to know that it is okay to talk for 3 hours straight about Muse and what they mean to you. Spend 14 hours trying to find the philosophy in your video game when it sparks your fancy. That’s okay. I know your brain is 200 times bigger than mine. Never any less…never any rest…but beautiful all the same. Make her appreciate that…if you believe her when she says she is truly yours.